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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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We were unknowingly robbed at the last hell we were in.

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But now you're telling me you have no money.

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How do you not realize you don't have 500 gold?

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That is quite a hefty just by weight.

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Well, in our defense, we didn't know we had 500 gold to start with.

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That's true.

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And in my defense, I have quite the bubble booty.

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There is a job posting board that could get you perhaps

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the money you require to first pay me back.

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Would food poisoning work for your little endeavors?

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Yeah, no, this is going to really do the trick.

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Yeah, when she sees what's coming out of you,

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she's not going to come anywhere near you.

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Oh, dear Lord.

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I walk up to her confidently and I say,

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I think you might be the bot I'm looking for.

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Wonderful, wonderful.

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Well, come have a seat.

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Come have a seat.

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Oh, thank you.

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I must figure out what kind of jobs that these dirty jobs are

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that you will be suggesting to me.

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Pea collector, order judge, manual fart releaser,

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dead person puppetry.

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Hi, I'm Wise Master Mesix.

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Well, Wise Master Mesix, I'll return with my friends in the morning.

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I would expect so.

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Tomorrow morning, be here before the bandit.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast

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and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.

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And with me today is Amy More.

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I knew you were going to say that because I was mouthing along with you.

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So were you really saying the words or was I making you say the words with my mind?

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And I play Sullivan's slight.

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I'm just a puppet.

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Also with me today, Carla Maxted.

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Not really comfortable with Amy having that kind of power,

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but also I kind of like it.

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So I'm not sure what that says about me, but I play Glim.

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She tells me I have to like it.

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And finally, Tom Laird.

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Amy totally freaked my mind.

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So it's going to take me a few minutes to recover and I'm playing moot.

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Well, we're starting with some really weird energy today, everybody.

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We just talked about how the world was awful

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and now how Amy controls everything.

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Oh, I went from controlling my husband to everything.

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The world would be so awful.

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That's right.

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Just just me.

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So anything might be a little harder.

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Anything that happens in this episode is now Amy's fault.

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Oh, perfect.

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As if I wasn't.

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You seem so intrigued.

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Blame for stuff anyway.

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That also means Amy gets all the credit for all the good things.

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That's true.

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I'm willing to take that based on the notes I have written down here today.

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Oh, the note wasn't reward party with riches, magical items.

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Oh, no, we have to earn them monies.

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Got to earn them monies so you can pay exorbitantly high priced potatoes.

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Potatoes.

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So hard for money.

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I have to say I really laughed when the episode came out in the feed

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and was literally called potatoes with an exclamation mark.

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It was very funny.

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Potatoes.

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There's no other name for it.

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Where you can help us name things like NPCs and items is over on Patreon.

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Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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Where when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.

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Like today's patron, Michael Newman.

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Thank you, Newman.

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Newman.

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Took on a real Seinfeld vibe here.

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That's what I was going for.

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And now, fuck it, let's play D&D.

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We find the three of you, Moot, Glim, and Sully, standing out in the street in front of a house.

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The house is blue.

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The large pillars stand out amongst all the other houses on this street.

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Glim, you know this is the house of wise master Mesix.

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You are looking down at the note that you took off of the jobs board

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here in this fine city of El Tiro.

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So guys, remember the job that I went to go do?

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He said bookkeepers needed, but not really.

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I mean, he literally needs bookkeepers.

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Bandit wizards are trying to steal his personal library of arcane books

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and he wanted tough, preferably illiterate bodies to defend the

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collection until he can secure safer storage.

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So I went and talked to him and he thinks that I'm illiterate.

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There's books everywhere and they seem like kind of random, but there's books everywhere.

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Like floor to ceiling, everywhere.

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And he was acting pretty strange in that he wouldn't let me see him for a very long time.

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And then I did see him and I just should warn you before we meet him,

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he looks a little bit unusual.

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So maybe just keep that in mind and don't be surprised when you see him.

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Also, I worked him up from his rate.

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He was originally offering not very much money,

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but instead we're going to get 75 gold for two days work.

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Is that 75 gold each or 75 gold to split between the three of us?

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I think each.

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I feel like I was a real tough negotiator.

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Oh, I like the sound of that.

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Now, what do you mean when you say he looks different?

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Well, he doesn't look like anyone that I've ever seen before.

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But you've been like nowhere.

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That's true.

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You're right.

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Maybe he looks normal and I just haven't seen enough of the world to know.

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What does he look like?

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I don't remember.

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He's really tall and thin and blue and he's very-

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Like he's sad or depressed?

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No, like literally blue.

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Like he'd been holding his breath a long time?

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Well, no, like the sky or the actual coloration of his skin is blue.

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Yes, I mean, it's very smooth.

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His features are very smooth.

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So I should ask about his skin care regimen.

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Maybe, unless it turned his skin blue,

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in which case only if you want your skin to turn blue.

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Well, I mean, 75 gold each every two days is pretty good,

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but how long is this job lasting for?

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It's only supposed to take a couple days.

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Oh.

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He's just trying to find a place to get his books somewhere else

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and these people are trying to get it, these bandit wizards.

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Oh, the other thing-

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Bandit wizards?

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He has a really high squeaky voice.

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Just so you know, just be cool is I guess what I'm saying.

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How important is this being a literate thing?

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I think he doesn't want the people to know what the books are about or say.

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They didn't seem to be anything cohesively secret,

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but I did pretend that I couldn't read them.

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So maybe X-Nay the note-taking?

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Okay, or maybe I could take my notes in orc.

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I could just be a literate for common.

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That's a really good point.

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Yeah, I mean, it said a literate.

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I don't know if all the books were in common,

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but maybe when we go in, you'll see there's a lot of books.

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And if they all seem to just be in common or not orcish,

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then maybe that'd be fine.

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Okay.

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Should we get the details about what I've signed us up for?

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Well, sure.

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It kind of seems like it's a done deal now.

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Should we go back and let the fine gentleman at Nodda Library know

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that we're going to pay our bill in just a couple days?

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Well, I thought-

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Oh, I already took care of it.

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Yeah, Moodle already paid it because he did the thing with the vomiting.

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Maybe, yeah.

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I poisoned the guy.

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Yeah, sorry.

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My thing took a lot longer than I expected.

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Yeah, how did yours go?

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Well, I know a lot of gross jobs.

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Yeah, that sounds right.

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I'm not surprised.

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You probably were really good at that job.

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It was a few hours worth of work,

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but I feel like I got paid very little for it.

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Let's go.

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Okay.

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I mean, we don't really need the money anymore,

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but I guess we do need money.

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Well, I mean, we do need money.

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I said that we would do it.

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He seems pleasant enough.

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Just, yeah, you'll see.

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And I go knock on the door.

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You wait a moment,

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and then you hear the same booming voice

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come out from the door and says,

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Yes?

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Yes?

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Why is master me six?

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It's Glim and my friends.

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We're here to help.

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Of course.

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And the door unlatches and creaks open.

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Man, this guy sounds like fucking the master

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of his own goddamn domain.

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Well, you'll see.

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You enter,

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and Glim, you see the same setup as previously,

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but Sully and Moot,

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you see books piled high to the ceiling in some places.

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And really, there's only like a path through them

195
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that snakes its way through the living areas

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and back into this main portion of the house.

197
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Would you say kind of like how Mrs. Kim's antique shop

198
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is in Gilmore Girls?

199
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Oh, that's fun.

200
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Yeah.

201
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,379
Don't say that like you've never seen

202
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Gilmore Girls multiple times.

203
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I'm presuming it's very packed

204
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with just a snaking path through it

205
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like I described.

206
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Yes.

207
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Wow, this looks like a real book lover's dream,

208
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you know, if you're into reading

209
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and can do such things like that.

210
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And then I look towards Glim and I thumbs up.

211
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I gave him a thumbs up.

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I realized I did that silently.

213
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It's a podcast.

214
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No one knew.

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You make your way back to the curtain

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where previously Glim you had met wise master Mesix

217
00:11:01,939 --> 00:11:03,699
and from behind the curtain

218
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you hear the same booming voice and says,

219
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you know, your friends cannot read, correct?

220
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I prefer to be read too.

221
00:11:17,539 --> 00:11:20,980
Yeah, I really like when people do the work for me

222
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because it's real slow going when I try it.

223
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Like one word an hour.

224
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I'm legally blind in one of my eyes.

225
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Both of you make a deception roll.

226
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13.

227
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19.

228
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Mood's been lined with everyone.

229
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Who is this guy?

230
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Such a good liar.

231
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Who knew?

232
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Good, good.

233
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All right, prepare yourselves.

234
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I'm going to step out from the curtain now.

235
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Okay.

236
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Are you ready?

237
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We're ready wise master Mesix.

238
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The curtain is swiftly drawn back

239
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and you see a hooded figure standing in robes.

240
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They step forward towards you.

241
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You see blue hands but they don't have fingers.

242
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More just round mitten type hands come out from the sleeves.

243
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And they raise towards the hood and lift it up over

244
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and you see a smooth headed,

245
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you can only describe it as somewhat alien in nature

246
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with a tuft of small hair off the top.

247
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And they look up at you and say,

248
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Well, it's time to move the books now.

249
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Okay, we're ready.

250
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Good.

251
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,259
What do you need us to do?

252
00:12:54,259 --> 00:12:56,740
You're going to move the books some kind of magical way

253
00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,259
and we'll just protect you?

254
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,780
Or are we putting them in boxes?

255
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,540
Well, we could put them in boxes.

256
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,700
But yes, I was planning on moving some magically

257
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:10,340
so they danced like down the hallway.

258
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:14,020
But who is good at dancing?

259
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I'm your guy.

260
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:15,780
Great.

261
00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:17,860
Dancing, excellent.

262
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,780
And who's good at keeping watch?

263
00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:23,139
We don't want the bandit wizards to sneak up on us

264
00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:26,819
as we are transferring all of this wealth of knowledge.

265
00:13:28,419 --> 00:13:30,019
I can keep watch.

266
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,779
Excellent.

267
00:13:31,779 --> 00:13:34,179
I'm quite strong and big and...

268
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:35,620
Good.

269
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:36,259
Keen-eyed.

270
00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:38,019
Good.

271
00:13:38,019 --> 00:13:41,699
Well, I mean, we'll keep the big strong one up at the front

272
00:13:41,699 --> 00:13:45,059
and the smaller ones can carry the books behind me.

273
00:13:46,339 --> 00:13:47,539
That seems like a great idea.

274
00:13:47,539 --> 00:13:48,659
Hold on a second.

275
00:13:48,659 --> 00:13:49,159
What?

276
00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:51,699
He called me big and strong, guys.

277
00:13:52,579 --> 00:13:53,699
You are big and strong.

278
00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:55,539
Well, I mean, I used to be bigger.

279
00:13:55,539 --> 00:13:57,539
I thought he was talking about Glim, true.

280
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,860
I was talking about Glim.

281
00:14:03,299 --> 00:14:05,379
Oh, that's so embarrassing for me.

282
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:07,779
I'm sorry.

283
00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:09,939
Common isn't my first language,

284
00:14:09,939 --> 00:14:13,379
so sometimes I get confused as to who's being referenced.

285
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,659
What is your name?

286
00:14:14,659 --> 00:14:15,459
Sorry.

287
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:18,659
What is your name?

288
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:21,240
Moot.

289
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:22,980
Good.

290
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,579
And your name?

291
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,379
Sullivan Sly, but everyone calls me Sully.

292
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:29,240
Great.

293
00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:32,339
Neither of you can read, right?

294
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:33,779
Yeah, buddy.

295
00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:35,539
Yep.

296
00:14:35,539 --> 00:14:38,100
And I have got zero interest, to be honest with you.

297
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,419
I have so many other interests.

298
00:14:41,939 --> 00:14:42,500
How many?

299
00:14:43,139 --> 00:14:44,259
Well, at least seven.

300
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:47,699
Oh, I think it's more than seven, Sully.

301
00:14:47,699 --> 00:14:48,500
Well, you know.

302
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,139
List them.

303
00:14:49,779 --> 00:14:58,419
Shock Suit Testa, Barnyard Masturbator.

304
00:15:04,659 --> 00:15:07,379
So you've got some new interests from putting together your list.

305
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,059
That's two.

306
00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,379
Barnyard Masturbator made the list.

307
00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:11,699
Yeah.

308
00:15:11,699 --> 00:15:12,579
It was just so interesting.

309
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,699
In the number two slot.

310
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:14,660
Cool, cool.

311
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:20,100
Professional crowd comedian heckler.

312
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:24,580
Wait, do you heckle the crowd or the comedian?

313
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:25,080
Yes.

314
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,180
Clothologist.

315
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,100
I can look at you.

316
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,620
Is that related to the linen arena?

317
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:36,820
Yes, it's very similar.

318
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:37,940
It's along the same lines.

319
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,900
Also linens, big fan of linens.

320
00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:46,019
And then I also really enjoy sometimes putting colors on stuff.

321
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:51,459
And then sometimes animals intrigue me.

322
00:15:55,779 --> 00:16:01,699
You are an interesting creature who has information that I do not.

323
00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:04,819
I will have to pick your brain later.

324
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:06,340
Witchpot.

325
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,179
Putting colors on stuff.

326
00:16:08,179 --> 00:16:09,699
Barnyard Masturbator.

327
00:16:10,259 --> 00:16:11,700
Shock Suit Testa.

328
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:12,820
Yes.

329
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,020
Well, okay.

330
00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:15,379
Well, we got a lot to talk about.

331
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:16,660
Good.

332
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:18,020
So who's keeping watch?

333
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,340
Well, I can keep watch or do you want me to lift things?

334
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:23,140
That's fine.

335
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,340
You can keep watch.

336
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:24,820
Okay.

337
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,660
You go stand up by the window there.

338
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:28,420
Okay.

339
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,020
Is the window blocked by books?

340
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:36,020
Yes, you must climb over the books to get to the window.

341
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:38,419
Okay.

342
00:16:38,419 --> 00:16:41,220
So I go and I'm like scooting books to the side.

343
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,100
Edging my way sideways over to the window.

344
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:44,600
Careful.

345
00:16:45,059 --> 00:16:48,659
Careful with the knowledge that is held within these tomes.

346
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:56,179
And again, what kind of like do the books seem cohesive?

347
00:16:56,179 --> 00:16:59,860
It's just a jumble of like cookbooks.

348
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:05,059
Yeah, it's like it's like it's as if someone went to the library

349
00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:07,059
and it was their first day at the library

350
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:12,019
and they just took out anything that looked like it was halfway interesting.

351
00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:13,460
That's awesome.

352
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:18,579
So no real like I mean you see a couple books that are on magic,

353
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,179
a couple books just on like day-to-day financing,

354
00:17:22,179 --> 00:17:25,379
some books on decorating, cooking.

355
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,740
A lot of self-help.

356
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,940
Self-helps in there.

357
00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:29,619
Some books on like Are You There God?

358
00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:30,659
It's Me Margaret.

359
00:17:30,659 --> 00:17:31,299
A lot of chicken soup for the soul.

360
00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:33,619
Whole bunch of Judy Blooms in the corner.

361
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,740
Reader's Digest, he's got the full, you know, gamut.

362
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:41,779
The full abridged books from Reader's Digest.

363
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,000
Exactly.

364
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:47,139
So you go up to the window and you are looking out

365
00:17:47,139 --> 00:17:48,899
and he goes up to Moot and says,

366
00:17:48,899 --> 00:17:50,419
Will you, what is your story?

367
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:52,819
One who doesn't speak very good common.

368
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,779
Well, I'm a half-orc.

369
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:58,740
Why just half?

370
00:18:00,899 --> 00:18:02,819
Because I'm only half.

371
00:18:05,139 --> 00:18:05,940
That's how it works.

372
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,259
He looks to Sully and says,

373
00:18:08,259 --> 00:18:12,659
He understands that you don't describe something

374
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,940
with the same term you use to say it, right?

375
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:18,500
No, obviously he does not understand that.

376
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,339
But let me let you know how.

377
00:18:20,339 --> 00:18:24,259
So like his someone's a human and someone's an orc

378
00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:27,619
and then Sully makes a lot of real crude gestures

379
00:18:27,619 --> 00:18:30,099
and then points at Moot and goes like ta-da.

380
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:33,139
He's a barnyard masturbator then.

381
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,620
Well, I don't know what he does on his free time, but hmm.

382
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,060
We'll have to talk more about both of these things.

383
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:42,820
All right, grab some books.

384
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:44,820
Come with me down this tunnel.

385
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,900
And he leads back behind the curtain

386
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:50,900
and there is a dugout tunnel that leads down

387
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:55,140
into the ground and back to the West.

388
00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:01,060
I grab the lightest looking pile of books

389
00:19:01,779 --> 00:19:06,579
and follow Master Me6.

390
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:12,579
I also grab a pile of books and cast Mayshan

391
00:19:12,579 --> 00:19:15,059
to crab claw up another couple of books.

392
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:20,339
Okay, roll the Dead Sweet Beautiful D20 footage.

393
00:19:22,819 --> 00:19:23,619
Four.

394
00:19:25,059 --> 00:19:26,259
Okay, you're good.

395
00:19:26,259 --> 00:19:26,900
Okay, you're good.

396
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:31,779
Okay, you-

397
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:34,420
Does he know what he's aiming for when he rolls that D20?

398
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,420
Yeah, do I?

399
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:38,180
Yeah, because he doesn't look like he knows.

400
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:40,339
Is it like more than 10 there's a consequence,

401
00:19:40,339 --> 00:19:41,940
less than 10 there's no consequence?

402
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:43,779
I want to say it's like a 5% chance,

403
00:19:43,779 --> 00:19:45,619
but I don't remember if it's the one or the 20.

404
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,660
For the Wild Magic Surge, it's the one.

405
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:49,859
Yeah, yeah, okay.

406
00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:53,460
Yes, okay, you all do this.

407
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:57,059
Um, Me6 looks back at you and says,

408
00:19:57,059 --> 00:19:58,900
you, how did you learn to do that?

409
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:02,180
Oh, the crab claw?

410
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:03,220
Yeah.

411
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:04,100
That's sort of my own,

412
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,140
my own choice on Mayshan.

413
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,340
Maybe you're familiar with it?

414
00:20:09,059 --> 00:20:09,620
I am.

415
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,100
I had to read about it, though.

416
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,220
How did you learn it?

417
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,180
Oh, I had a teacher that taught me.

418
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:21,779
See, I have access to Wild Magic.

419
00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:24,740
So I don't read anything to learn magic,

420
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:28,899
I just kind of try it, and sometimes it works.

421
00:20:29,779 --> 00:20:31,299
And sometimes it makes me shorter.

422
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:38,339
Yeah, imagine this guy, but only like seven inches taller.

423
00:20:38,339 --> 00:20:40,339
He was magnificent.

424
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,899
He goes wide-eyed, he says, that can happen?

425
00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:45,859
It did happen, yeah.

426
00:20:45,859 --> 00:20:46,899
Wow.

427
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:49,299
I'm drifting into Flamikins, I gotta watch out.

428
00:20:51,779 --> 00:20:56,180
Glim, up at the front, make a perception check

429
00:20:56,180 --> 00:20:59,299
as your friends follow Master Me6 down.

430
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:02,740
You also see books begin to, like,

431
00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:07,460
Sorcerer's Apprentice start dancing out of the room following behind you.

432
00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:10,039
15.

433
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:16,099
As this continues to happen, you see books just jumping to attention one after the other.

434
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:22,020
You hear random yelling coming from the tunnel,

435
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:24,260
like maybe they're doing something wrong.

436
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,220
Your friends, that is.

437
00:21:26,260 --> 00:21:32,660
You see out and down the street two people who appear to be hooded,

438
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:38,180
one taller, one shorter, walking in the general direction of the house.

439
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,620
Why is Master Me6?

440
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:43,700
Yeah, just a second!

441
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:48,660
I forgot to ask what the bandit wizards look like.

442
00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:52,819
He comes trudging up from the basement and says,

443
00:21:53,460 --> 00:22:02,019
um, well, there's a couple, and they, you know what a wizard looks like.

444
00:22:04,019 --> 00:22:09,620
Well, I mean, I think, no, wizards can look all sorts of different ways.

445
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:12,819
Okay, but battle wizards specifically, they wear hoods.

446
00:22:12,819 --> 00:22:17,139
Oh, I mean, there's two people approaching wearing hoods right now.

447
00:22:17,139 --> 00:22:17,619
Do you think?

448
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:19,460
Interesting.

449
00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:23,779
Um, yes, that could be them.

450
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,259
Are you prepared to do battle?

451
00:22:28,099 --> 00:22:36,099
Um, see what they do first, and then maybe decide to prepare to do battle.

452
00:22:38,019 --> 00:22:40,500
Do you think that the, um,

453
00:22:41,059 --> 00:22:47,859
do you think that the villains that are coming for your books are going to be sneaky,

454
00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:52,019
or they're just gonna, just gonna barge in and start taking books?

455
00:22:52,019 --> 00:22:57,059
They seem like they are very, in the past experiences I've had with them,

456
00:22:57,059 --> 00:23:00,019
very forthcoming with what they are trying to do.

457
00:23:00,819 --> 00:23:05,539
Okay, and is what they're trying to do take books or murder or?

458
00:23:05,539 --> 00:23:09,779
Yes, primarily book taking, hence the requirement

459
00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:15,220
the required muscle I need for protecting the books.

460
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,139
Okay, well, I'll just.

461
00:23:17,139 --> 00:23:18,259
I don't know about the murder.

462
00:23:19,139 --> 00:23:20,899
Be careful about that though.

463
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:21,539
I certainly will.

464
00:23:21,539 --> 00:23:23,059
That sounds like it could be bad.

465
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:27,940
Okay, well, I'll just keep watch on these two then.

466
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:29,539
Great, I'm gonna give you this.

467
00:23:29,539 --> 00:23:34,740
And he hands you a small device, something you've never seen before.

468
00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:44,019
It's kind of a, it feels hard like steel, but a little, but not quite steel.

469
00:23:44,019 --> 00:23:46,180
It's soft and it kind of crinkles to the touch.

470
00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:50,019
Like it could break at any moment.

471
00:23:51,620 --> 00:23:54,819
And he says, just push that button, that one right there.

472
00:23:54,819 --> 00:23:57,140
And he pushes a button and it like,

473
00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:01,859
so just push that when you want to say something.

474
00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,220
And then I'll be able to hear you.

475
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:05,299
Magic.

476
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,900
Okay, that is, that is magic.

477
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,500
Did he give her a bag of tinfoil covered leftovers?

478
00:24:16,180 --> 00:24:17,460
What a picture.

479
00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:19,220
I think he gave me a walkie talkie.

480
00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:20,259
Yes, the second one.

481
00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:23,860
Which sounds like I've probably talked about this on this podcast before,

482
00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:26,579
because it is literally one of my favorite terms.

483
00:24:26,579 --> 00:24:28,100
Walkie talkie.

484
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:30,180
It's so, it's so literal.

485
00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:30,980
It's so adorable.

486
00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:31,539
So whimsical.

487
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,940
I'm pretty sure Canadians invented it and therefore the name.

488
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:37,139
So go Canada.

489
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:41,139
But walkie talkie sounds like something you would make up for a children's book,

490
00:24:41,139 --> 00:24:42,740
but it's not.

491
00:24:42,740 --> 00:24:44,819
It's like a real thing and it's great.

492
00:24:45,379 --> 00:24:46,819
Well, think about movies.

493
00:24:49,139 --> 00:24:50,339
You know, you're right.

494
00:24:50,339 --> 00:24:52,899
In olden days, people just came up.

495
00:24:52,899 --> 00:24:53,700
It's a movie.

496
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:55,940
They were very literal, weren't they?

497
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:56,440
Yeah.

498
00:24:57,859 --> 00:24:59,299
I'm going to keep moving books now.

499
00:25:00,259 --> 00:25:03,460
You just push the button if you need anything.

500
00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:05,460
Okay, I'll let you know what they do.

501
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:11,940
He runs back down the stairs and we cut back to Moot and Sully,

502
00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,940
who have been left alone for the moment,

503
00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:16,899
and you're walking down this way carrying the books that you took.

504
00:25:18,579 --> 00:25:22,339
He seemed pretty impressed when he saw my magic, hey?

505
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:27,460
Oh yeah, he thought you were the bee's knees, my friend.

506
00:25:27,539 --> 00:25:28,740
Do bees have knees?

507
00:25:31,059 --> 00:25:35,059
I think their little appendages do bend, so I'm going to say yeah.

508
00:25:35,059 --> 00:25:36,019
Hmm, all right.

509
00:25:36,019 --> 00:25:38,019
Or are they elbows?

510
00:25:38,019 --> 00:25:38,519
Oh.

511
00:25:39,380 --> 00:25:43,860
This is a deep conversation that Moot and Sully are getting up to in the tunnels.

512
00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:47,940
You hear footsteps running up behind you again and he's like,

513
00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:49,620
you're doing a great job!

514
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:55,779
And you round a bend into a wide open underground cavernous chamber.

515
00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:57,619
Holy shit.

516
00:25:57,619 --> 00:26:01,700
That has books piled up along a far wall and he rushes,

517
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:06,899
kind of pushes by you and rushes into this and he says, just stack them anywhere.

518
00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:11,379
What are you doing with all these books, Weissmaster Mesix?

519
00:26:12,099 --> 00:26:15,700
Hiding them from the battle wizards.

520
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,180
Why do they want to steal your books?

521
00:26:19,299 --> 00:26:22,899
Because they want the knowledge that is contained within them.

522
00:26:23,860 --> 00:26:26,180
Couldn't they just go to one of those book places

523
00:26:26,180 --> 00:26:28,259
where you can read all those books for free?

524
00:26:28,259 --> 00:26:28,980
What is that called?

525
00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:33,220
I really want Sully to nail this one.

526
00:26:36,019 --> 00:26:37,700
He can't now that you said that.

527
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:41,060
A bookery?

528
00:26:42,019 --> 00:26:42,740
A bookery?

529
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:45,540
You mean a library, Sully?

530
00:26:45,540 --> 00:26:46,580
We went to one before.

531
00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:49,140
No, that wasn't a library.

532
00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:50,660
You went to a library?

533
00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:52,259
No, we went to not a library.

534
00:26:52,259 --> 00:26:53,700
Oh, it was not a library.

535
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:54,259
That's right.

536
00:26:54,259 --> 00:27:01,940
It was the well-known tavern where they charge too much money for their food.

537
00:27:01,940 --> 00:27:02,420
Right?

538
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,859
All those potatoes.

539
00:27:05,379 --> 00:27:06,900
The potatoes is where they get you.

540
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:09,859
They lure you in with how much you get.

541
00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:15,059
That's why we had to take some odd jobs around to pay off those potatoes.

542
00:27:15,619 --> 00:27:17,460
You had to take a job to pay?

543
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:18,019
Wow.

544
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:19,619
Well, you know what?

545
00:27:19,619 --> 00:27:23,779
These sticky-fingered sons of bitch goblins stole our money.

546
00:27:23,779 --> 00:27:25,299
Yeah, they were deep in the jam.

547
00:27:25,299 --> 00:27:26,420
They were all turnt up.

548
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:30,420
There are many words here that don't make any sense

549
00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:33,460
and you will need to explain them all right now.

550
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,740
Tunt means all sorts of fucked up.

551
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:39,940
There was a giant jam of jar or jam of jar of jam.

552
00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:40,980
A jam of jar.

553
00:27:40,980 --> 00:27:42,579
There was a giant jar of jam.

554
00:27:45,779 --> 00:27:47,059
We cut back to Glim.

555
00:27:48,019 --> 00:27:54,900
The two figures are now standing out front of the house.

556
00:27:55,859 --> 00:27:57,940
Seems like they're conversing amongst themselves.

557
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:02,259
Pointing up to the house and opening a book,

558
00:28:02,980 --> 00:28:05,700
closing a book, putting it back in their pocket.

559
00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:08,980
One of them takes a drink from a flask, puts it back down.

560
00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:11,619
It's waving his arms wildly.

561
00:28:13,619 --> 00:28:16,900
Does Glim come out and go, I see you already have a book.

562
00:28:18,579 --> 00:28:19,779
Nothing to see here.

563
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,059
It's nothing else for you.

564
00:28:27,619 --> 00:28:32,259
I think I'm just gonna keep eyeballing them.

565
00:28:32,259 --> 00:28:35,139
Can I see, I guess I can't see any, just robes.

566
00:28:36,019 --> 00:28:36,819
Yeah, mostly robes.

567
00:28:36,819 --> 00:28:40,420
You see beneath that they look like they have their,

568
00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:42,259
I mean, you've seen like...

569
00:28:44,019 --> 00:28:44,900
They're humanoid.

570
00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:46,819
Yes.

571
00:28:46,819 --> 00:28:47,460
Okay.

572
00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:48,740
They look like humans.

573
00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:49,460
Profiles.

574
00:28:49,460 --> 00:28:50,819
That's the word I was looking for.

575
00:28:53,620 --> 00:28:55,539
There's been a lot of wild hand motions.

576
00:28:55,539 --> 00:28:57,700
Trying to figure out what the word profiling is.

577
00:28:57,700 --> 00:28:59,779
Not silhouette, it's profile.

578
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:03,779
You've seen the profile of them and they appear to be humanoid,

579
00:29:03,779 --> 00:29:05,059
at the very least humanoid.

580
00:29:05,059 --> 00:29:06,500
What about, do they have any fingers?

581
00:29:07,059 --> 00:29:08,340
They do have fingers.

582
00:29:08,340 --> 00:29:09,539
Fingers, interesting.

583
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:13,620
Now, didn't think I'd be asking that when I start at this game, but here we are.

584
00:29:14,819 --> 00:29:15,299
That's fair.

585
00:29:15,940 --> 00:29:17,220
Okay, maintaining watch.

586
00:29:17,460 --> 00:29:18,100
Yes.

587
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,019
Okay, back down.

588
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:24,420
The books continue moving into the chamber freely.

589
00:29:24,420 --> 00:29:26,420
The three of you are just standing there,

590
00:29:26,420 --> 00:29:28,660
unless you say you're specifically doing something else.

591
00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:32,579
No, I think we're answering all MasterMe6 questions.

592
00:29:32,579 --> 00:29:33,299
Deep in it.

593
00:29:33,299 --> 00:29:39,380
He is taking notes as well and the books are piling up high behind him.

594
00:29:40,660 --> 00:29:42,420
Both of you make a perception check.

595
00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:48,820
Well, it's a 19 before bonuses, so I'm sure it'll be fine.

596
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:49,320
11.

597
00:29:49,940 --> 00:29:50,900
Oh, it's a 19.

598
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:52,340
I have no bonus for perception.

599
00:29:53,060 --> 00:29:53,539
Perfect.

600
00:29:53,539 --> 00:29:57,140
Both of you see as the books begin piling up,

601
00:29:57,140 --> 00:30:00,420
they're not piling in a structurally sound way

602
00:30:01,380 --> 00:30:06,660
and you see them begin to tip forward towards Wise MasterMe6.

603
00:30:08,180 --> 00:30:09,220
I dive at him.

604
00:30:09,220 --> 00:30:09,779
Look out!

605
00:30:09,779 --> 00:30:11,220
And I say, blue buddy!

606
00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:15,779
And I tackle him around the waist to push him over before a stack falls on him.

607
00:30:15,779 --> 00:30:20,099
Okay, make some sort of athletics, probably, or acrobatics.

608
00:30:24,420 --> 00:30:28,660
Well, acrobatics is plus five, which would bring me up to 23.

609
00:30:30,019 --> 00:30:36,019
You dive in front of him and as Moot yells, look out, you dive towards him.

610
00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:48,180
He looks behind him and you push him and you feel this energy cast out around both of you

611
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:53,619
and the books falling hit the energy field and fall to the ground.

612
00:30:53,619 --> 00:30:58,660
You see the books hit and almost bounce off of the two of them as they hit the ground.

613
00:31:00,019 --> 00:31:01,700
Whoa, what was that?

614
00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:04,579
We in some sort of protective bubble.

615
00:31:04,579 --> 00:31:05,619
That was really cool.

616
00:31:06,099 --> 00:31:10,980
Yes, yes, it's called mage armor.

617
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,019
Is that something you could teach me to do?

618
00:31:16,819 --> 00:31:20,180
Well, one who doesn't read, you wouldn't be able to learn it from a book,

619
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:21,779
so I might have to teach you.

620
00:31:22,660 --> 00:31:23,700
I mean, that would be great.

621
00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:25,299
I would love that.

622
00:31:26,579 --> 00:31:27,619
Can you teach me too?

623
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:31,299
I don't know how to do any magics, but it seems like it'd be real handy.

624
00:31:31,299 --> 00:31:35,379
I appreciate your quick refLexes, but you seem like a lost cause in this moment.

625
00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:37,619
Yeah, okay, that's fair.

626
00:31:37,619 --> 00:31:42,339
I don't want to take you away from your passions of barnyard masturbation

627
00:31:44,099 --> 00:31:47,539
or shark tester.

628
00:31:48,259 --> 00:31:49,779
Shark suit tester.

629
00:31:49,779 --> 00:31:50,660
Shark suit tester.

630
00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:52,819
I forgot to say also keystering.

631
00:31:52,819 --> 00:31:54,099
We'll get to that after.

632
00:31:54,900 --> 00:32:04,019
He goes and begins teaching you various hand motions and telling you to repeat phrases,

633
00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:05,619
that sort of thing.

634
00:32:05,619 --> 00:32:06,740
And we cut back to Glim.

635
00:32:07,299 --> 00:32:11,379
The two figures out in the street, you see them kind of just shrug

636
00:32:11,379 --> 00:32:16,660
and one of the taller one is like pointing to the door towards the house.

637
00:32:16,660 --> 00:32:20,019
Like just like you can tell he's, you know,

638
00:32:20,019 --> 00:32:25,059
maybe telling the smaller person to maybe go knock and you get that kind of feeling.

639
00:32:26,099 --> 00:32:27,059
It's just so hard.

640
00:32:27,059 --> 00:32:30,099
Glim just wants to like open the door and be like,

641
00:32:30,099 --> 00:32:32,500
do you can I, what do you need?

642
00:32:32,579 --> 00:32:33,299
Do you need help?

643
00:32:33,299 --> 00:32:34,660
But she's not going to do that.

644
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:44,420
After a few back and forths, the smaller humanoid defeatedly shoulders slumped,

645
00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:48,740
just arms hanging, walks up to the door and then you hear just a weak knock.

646
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:57,859
I'll go to the door and say, hello?

647
00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:06,980
Yeah. Hi. Um, is, uh, are you the owner of the house?

648
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:10,020
Can I help you with something?

649
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:14,340
Well, um, we have to find the owner of the house.

650
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:19,940
Oh, is it an emergency or are they in danger?

651
00:33:21,060 --> 00:33:26,100
It could be the end of the world if we don't find the owner of the house.

652
00:33:26,100 --> 00:33:27,780
Oh, that's very dramatic.

653
00:33:27,860 --> 00:33:29,540
What's the owner's name?

654
00:33:29,540 --> 00:33:32,900
Um, well, that depends what he told you.

655
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:38,580
Um, it usually revolves around, you know, some sort of me seeks.

656
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:42,980
Whatever he puts around that sometimes changes.

657
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:45,220
Please explain.

658
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:52,740
Well, can I, can I come in or you come out?

659
00:33:52,740 --> 00:33:55,700
I feel like talking through the door is a little impersonal.

660
00:33:55,700 --> 00:34:01,620
Oh, hold on. And I pick up the, the, the talkie walkie.

661
00:34:03,860 --> 00:34:04,360
Okay.

662
00:34:04,980 --> 00:34:05,480
No, I don't.

663
00:34:07,299 --> 00:34:10,659
I like that you're narrating your steps for the man on the other side of the door.

664
00:34:10,659 --> 00:34:12,420
I don't say that out loud.

665
00:34:12,420 --> 00:34:12,920
Oops.

666
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,019
You said hold on.

667
00:34:14,019 --> 00:34:19,619
Yeah. Um, and say master me seeks.

668
00:34:25,699 --> 00:34:32,579
It's the middle now and we're back.

669
00:34:40,259 --> 00:34:41,059
Off the air.

670
00:34:41,059 --> 00:34:44,099
Amy told us she knew what she was going to do.

671
00:34:44,099 --> 00:34:45,460
She had something.

672
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:46,099
She was ready.

673
00:34:46,099 --> 00:34:47,299
And she nailed it.

674
00:34:47,299 --> 00:34:48,099
She really nailed it.

675
00:34:48,099 --> 00:34:48,739
It was very good.

676
00:34:48,739 --> 00:34:50,179
I think you're even your mice distance.

677
00:34:50,179 --> 00:34:51,460
Yeah, it was perfect.

678
00:34:51,460 --> 00:34:52,419
Levels did not peak.

679
00:34:52,419 --> 00:34:52,980
Wow.

680
00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:53,859
Perfect.

681
00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:54,740
I'm learning.

682
00:34:55,380 --> 00:35:03,700
I was going for, um, maybe like, uh, some sort of like, uh, Brazilian, um, soccer commentator.

683
00:35:06,340 --> 00:35:07,220
We totally got it.

684
00:35:07,220 --> 00:35:09,059
Also, we reached a goal.

685
00:35:09,059 --> 00:35:09,940
We did.

686
00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:11,140
Where did we reach that goal?

687
00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:13,700
On Patreon.

688
00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:15,539
Everybody, you're awesome.

689
00:35:15,539 --> 00:35:17,860
Over on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

690
00:35:17,860 --> 00:35:22,579
We have goals that we set so that we can do, uh, tangible things for the podcast

691
00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:27,699
as well as special bonus things for our patrons and our listeners.

692
00:35:27,699 --> 00:35:34,340
And, uh, when we reach this goal, uh, we now have the ability to, uh, sign up for

693
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:39,860
a program that will allow us to transcribe our episodes with much greater ease.

694
00:35:39,860 --> 00:35:41,299
So it does the bulk of the work.

695
00:35:41,299 --> 00:35:46,420
And then we just need to go through and fine tune it, which is very cool and very awesome.

696
00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:51,860
So thank you, uh, for being a patron and thank you for listening and spreading the word about us.

697
00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:57,780
But you know what I really like about this goal and about having a service that can transcribe

698
00:35:57,780 --> 00:36:01,700
is that we are becoming more accessible for, for others.

699
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:02,340
For sure.

700
00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:05,700
It's something we've talked about for so long and there just wasn't like a tangible

701
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:06,820
way to do it.

702
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:10,740
Then the longer we wait, the more difficult it became.

703
00:36:10,740 --> 00:36:13,620
And it was like, oh, this is a never ending cycle.

704
00:36:13,620 --> 00:36:19,460
But now we have a service that we can do that and more quickly just between the four

705
00:36:19,539 --> 00:36:23,380
of us and whoever else wants to help us out, send us an email in there and just edit it

706
00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:26,019
quickly and cleanly and hopefully quickly and cleanly.

707
00:36:26,019 --> 00:36:27,539
Well, that that's yet to be seen.

708
00:36:27,539 --> 00:36:32,420
Um, but then post that up on our website and wherever we can and, you know, more

709
00:36:32,420 --> 00:36:37,619
people can come listen to us or not listen to us, but enjoy the podcast in another

710
00:36:37,619 --> 00:36:38,099
way.

711
00:36:38,099 --> 00:36:38,740
So thank you.

712
00:36:39,380 --> 00:36:40,900
Um, also part of that goal.

713
00:36:40,900 --> 00:36:42,179
What do we get to do everybody?

714
00:36:42,179 --> 00:36:45,220
We just decided in our latest gook hang hang out.

715
00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:48,100
Don't say that.

716
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:51,540
You're setting that up for failure right there.

717
00:36:51,540 --> 00:36:52,580
Don't you do that to people?

718
00:36:53,220 --> 00:36:56,980
We are doing a character swap episode.

719
00:36:56,980 --> 00:36:58,340
Yes, we are.

720
00:36:58,340 --> 00:37:00,660
Are we saying what the specifics?

721
00:37:00,660 --> 00:37:01,780
Absolutely.

722
00:37:01,780 --> 00:37:03,300
Okay, let's do it.

723
00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:04,340
Who's DMing?

724
00:37:04,340 --> 00:37:05,780
Cause that got put in the hat too.

725
00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:08,660
I rolled the lowest.

726
00:37:09,540 --> 00:37:10,580
Surprise, surprise.

727
00:37:11,940 --> 00:37:12,900
It was still a good roll.

728
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:14,100
It was still a very good roll.

729
00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:16,179
It was a 69.

730
00:37:16,179 --> 00:37:19,299
So if I'm going to roll low, might as well roll sexy low.

731
00:37:19,299 --> 00:37:19,940
Nice.

732
00:37:19,940 --> 00:37:20,500
That's right.

733
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,500
And sexy low.

734
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:24,179
Is that what it was for?

735
00:37:24,179 --> 00:37:25,219
I don't know.

736
00:37:25,219 --> 00:37:26,739
Um, sexy low.

737
00:37:26,739 --> 00:37:28,980
And I will be DMing because of it.

738
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:32,980
So Amy, give us a little insight onto what you're going to plan.

739
00:37:33,539 --> 00:37:35,460
Well, I just got these bitch and dice.

740
00:37:35,460 --> 00:37:37,619
So I plan on killing everyone.

741
00:37:39,299 --> 00:37:39,699
Thank God.

742
00:37:39,699 --> 00:37:41,139
This is non-canonical.

743
00:37:41,139 --> 00:37:44,819
Non-canonical game based on that alone.

744
00:37:44,819 --> 00:37:45,460
That alone.

745
00:37:46,019 --> 00:37:51,859
But then that means Tom and myself and Carla all got different characters

746
00:37:51,859 --> 00:37:55,460
because we didn't allow ourselves to play a character that we've already played before.

747
00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:56,259
Oh, now hold on.

748
00:37:56,259 --> 00:37:56,819
I'm the DM.

749
00:37:57,460 --> 00:37:59,139
Russ, what's your character?

750
00:37:59,139 --> 00:38:03,219
I get to play drum roll moot.

751
00:38:03,779 --> 00:38:04,579
How do you feel about that?

752
00:38:04,579 --> 00:38:05,859
I feel really great about it.

753
00:38:05,859 --> 00:38:09,859
I'm going to have to brush up on my moodisms, my note taking,

754
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:10,980
my.

755
00:38:10,980 --> 00:38:12,260
Just write a lot of things down.

756
00:38:12,260 --> 00:38:13,140
While magicking.

757
00:38:13,140 --> 00:38:14,980
Calm your shit downing.

758
00:38:14,980 --> 00:38:16,740
I will calm my shit down.

759
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:22,019
Everyone will be thusly surprised if Russ ends up not completely fucking everything up

760
00:38:22,019 --> 00:38:23,300
and going wild.

761
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:24,180
Bat shit crazy.

762
00:38:24,180 --> 00:38:25,860
Moot is a wild magic sorcerer.

763
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:26,660
It's built in.

764
00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:26,980
I know.

765
00:38:26,980 --> 00:38:28,740
I mean, wild is in the title.

766
00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:31,620
Yes, but does Moot feel that in his heart?

767
00:38:32,260 --> 00:38:32,900
Going on.

768
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:33,940
Tom, who are you playing?

769
00:38:34,579 --> 00:38:37,780
I am playing the one and only Sullivan Slate.

770
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:38,500
Yeah, you are.

771
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:39,460
Do him proud, buddy.

772
00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:40,420
How do you feel about that?

773
00:38:41,619 --> 00:38:45,059
I need to think of a lot of jobs that I've done.

774
00:38:45,059 --> 00:38:46,820
And then just bring them up whenever you want to.

775
00:38:46,820 --> 00:38:49,300
Yeah, just slide them into the conversation.

776
00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:50,500
Work on your accent now.

777
00:38:51,220 --> 00:38:51,699
Oh, boy.

778
00:38:51,699 --> 00:38:53,139
Yeah, that's going to be a tough one.

779
00:38:53,139 --> 00:38:56,420
I'm going to have to just binge episodes of the podcast to get it down.

780
00:38:56,420 --> 00:38:56,740
Just isolate.

781
00:38:56,740 --> 00:38:59,380
We'll have a little training session.

782
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:02,740
Yeah, I can send you just her tracks throughout that whole thing.

783
00:39:02,740 --> 00:39:03,380
Perfect.

784
00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:05,940
Carla, who are you playing?

785
00:39:06,019 --> 00:39:11,059
Well, to round out the cast of our two little baby level two characters,

786
00:39:11,619 --> 00:39:14,579
I will be playing an ancient dragon.

787
00:39:17,059 --> 00:39:17,619
What color?

788
00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:21,780
Brass, bronze, copper.

789
00:39:22,579 --> 00:39:24,179
These are all the same color, you guys.

790
00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:27,220
They're completely different metals, Carla.

791
00:39:27,220 --> 00:39:27,860
Oh, my God.

792
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,860
I will be playing, yes, copper dragon.

793
00:39:31,860 --> 00:39:34,980
So I am so excited to see how Amy makes that work

794
00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:37,139
because I'm very powerful.

795
00:39:37,139 --> 00:39:38,659
I don't know any of my stats.

796
00:39:38,659 --> 00:39:39,860
It's all a fun surprise.

797
00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:41,059
It's Tazmakella.

798
00:39:41,059 --> 00:39:41,860
Tazmakella.

799
00:39:41,860 --> 00:39:42,659
Tazmakella.

800
00:39:42,659 --> 00:39:45,940
Now, you may remember Tazmakella from the Dragon Council episode

801
00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:49,219
played by one Katie May of Dungeon's Dice and Everything Nice

802
00:39:49,219 --> 00:39:52,340
who stole a certain bag from Thea.

803
00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:54,420
And Amy's not at all mad about it.

804
00:39:54,420 --> 00:39:55,139
It's fine.

805
00:39:55,139 --> 00:40:00,420
Yeah, and Moot and Sully get to team up with an ancient copper dragon.

806
00:40:00,420 --> 00:40:00,980
That's right.

807
00:40:01,619 --> 00:40:03,059
I love it.

808
00:40:03,059 --> 00:40:04,019
It's going to be gold.

809
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:10,579
Patrons suggested who they wanted in the hat for us to pick who got played

810
00:40:10,579 --> 00:40:11,539
and that's what came up.

811
00:40:11,539 --> 00:40:12,420
That's what we get.

812
00:40:12,420 --> 00:40:15,860
So if you become a patron at the $5 level or higher,

813
00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:19,860
you'll be able to hear that coming up in the next month or so,

814
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:22,340
month or two, depending on when we can get scheduled to,

815
00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:25,139
well, when Amy can plan it and then when we can schedule it.

816
00:40:25,139 --> 00:40:26,500
Seven months later.

817
00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:27,699
No, we got to do it quickly.

818
00:40:27,699 --> 00:40:29,219
14 years later.

819
00:40:30,259 --> 00:40:32,019
Look, this isn't Austin Powers, OK?

820
00:40:32,659 --> 00:40:35,059
The year is 2071.

821
00:40:37,059 --> 00:40:39,219
The players have grown old.

822
00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:41,380
But no, thank you everybody for that.

823
00:40:41,380 --> 00:40:43,699
Visit us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast

824
00:40:43,699 --> 00:40:47,059
to check out all the details about that and our upcoming goal,

825
00:40:47,059 --> 00:40:51,139
which is another character swap where we're putting all new names in the hat

826
00:40:51,139 --> 00:40:52,900
and it's going to be super awesome.

827
00:40:52,900 --> 00:40:53,539
So thank you.

828
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,900
And now we'll get you back to the episode.

829
00:40:57,619 --> 00:40:58,259
Have a great week.

830
00:41:02,739 --> 00:41:11,219
And down in the cavern, you moot and wise master me six are

831
00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:14,019
you're practicing now.

832
00:41:14,019 --> 00:41:15,139
You're getting into it.

833
00:41:16,019 --> 00:41:18,500
Describe to me how me six is

834
00:41:19,699 --> 00:41:21,780
how you are interpreting what he's telling you.

835
00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:22,739
Also, I'm Sully.

836
00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:26,500
You moot and master me six.

837
00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:29,539
You moot and master me six.

838
00:41:29,539 --> 00:41:31,380
Yeah, but then you're not talking to me.

839
00:41:32,019 --> 00:41:33,940
I didn't say I was talking to you.

840
00:41:33,940 --> 00:41:34,739
You moot.

841
00:41:39,460 --> 00:41:43,460
There is too much of a pause to sound like you moot and master me six.

842
00:41:43,460 --> 00:41:44,980
And I'm like, wait a minute.

843
00:41:44,980 --> 00:41:45,460
What?

844
00:41:45,460 --> 00:41:49,219
Because I was specifying who was the you who was the you in that moment.

845
00:41:49,219 --> 00:41:51,300
You mean this has nothing to do with me.

846
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:54,659
You presently are a lost cause in this moment.

847
00:41:56,099 --> 00:41:56,739
So he said.

848
00:41:58,340 --> 00:42:00,500
I start to organize the books on by size.

849
00:42:02,179 --> 00:42:03,539
Sorry, I start to make a fort.

850
00:42:03,539 --> 00:42:05,380
What did you say before he jumped in?

851
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:14,579
Describe what you're interpreting from how he's teaching you how to do mage armor.

852
00:42:16,099 --> 00:42:20,579
Yeah, I kind of I got the feeling from wise master me six that

853
00:42:22,340 --> 00:42:27,539
it's like you gather energy and it kind of coats your body with it,

854
00:42:28,259 --> 00:42:29,460
thus protecting you.

855
00:42:29,460 --> 00:42:30,579
So it's like grabbing.

856
00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:36,579
I don't want to say like particles, but yeah, grabbing like bits and pieces of energy and

857
00:42:36,579 --> 00:42:39,699
kind of creating a second skin, if you will.

858
00:42:39,699 --> 00:42:42,179
OK, now you go practice over there.

859
00:42:42,179 --> 00:42:43,539
I'll push books on you later.

860
00:42:44,259 --> 00:42:45,059
OK, sounds great.

861
00:42:46,019 --> 00:42:51,539
He picks up the walkie talkie as he previously heard Glim's call and he pushes it.

862
00:42:51,539 --> 00:42:52,179
Yeah, what's up?

863
00:42:53,380 --> 00:42:56,900
Well, the people inside one of them knocked.

864
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:58,420
They seem to know you.

865
00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:00,500
Those are the battle wizards.

866
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:01,220
Don't let them in.

867
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:04,900
They don't seem very badly.

868
00:43:06,260 --> 00:43:13,220
That's how they lure you in with their ability to seem like they're completely

869
00:43:13,220 --> 00:43:13,940
incompetent.

870
00:43:15,059 --> 00:43:24,659
OK, can you can you explain why do you have a feud with them?

871
00:43:24,659 --> 00:43:26,340
What's it seems?

872
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:28,099
What do you want to know?

873
00:43:28,420 --> 00:43:31,700
Well, why are they?

874
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:36,659
You knew they were coming enough to put up a notice.

875
00:43:36,659 --> 00:43:39,460
They're trying to get the information before I can get the information.

876
00:43:41,220 --> 00:43:45,300
Um, OK, they don't seem very.

877
00:43:48,260 --> 00:43:51,460
OK, is that music in there?

878
00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:55,780
And I put the walkie talkie away.

879
00:43:55,780 --> 00:44:01,860
How do you how do you how do you know me six?

880
00:44:01,860 --> 00:44:06,900
Well, we kind of created him explain.

881
00:44:06,900 --> 00:44:12,900
Well, where we're from, you can push a button and it creates a me six.

882
00:44:13,860 --> 00:44:17,700
If I open this door, do you promise I'm not going to have to kill you?

883
00:44:18,420 --> 00:44:21,700
I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't kill me.

884
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:26,020
Well, I don't want to have to, but I will if I have to.

885
00:44:27,060 --> 00:44:29,140
Oh, OK, I'll try.

886
00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:32,340
Do you need me to I'll keep my hands out of my pockets.

887
00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:35,300
OK, I'm going to open the door.

888
00:44:35,300 --> 00:44:36,420
You're not going to come in.

889
00:44:36,980 --> 00:44:37,220
No.

890
00:44:38,020 --> 00:44:41,060
OK, so I'm going to pull up my war pick.

891
00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:49,700
So I look very intimidating when I open the door and I'm going to walk out.

892
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:54,420
And I guess like almost close it behind me as you step out.

893
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:58,820
You see beneath his beneath his hood, you see his face and it's a small

894
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:04,660
it kind of looks like a teenage boy, red, curly hair.

895
00:45:06,260 --> 00:45:10,660
He's got his hands up as he as he described and he sees you step out

896
00:45:10,660 --> 00:45:14,900
and he's like, Whoa, that's just a great crap crap crap.

897
00:45:14,900 --> 00:45:17,940
Big dog, I need help.

898
00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:23,619
Maybe you could take the hood, take that all the way down.

899
00:45:23,619 --> 00:45:24,980
He takes the hood down.

900
00:45:24,980 --> 00:45:32,260
Yeah, no, I you're you're you sound a lot nicer than than you look.

901
00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:35,139
You look scary.

902
00:45:35,940 --> 00:45:39,059
Well, I am very strong.

903
00:45:39,059 --> 00:45:42,019
So, I mean, it's I have a destiny.

904
00:45:42,019 --> 00:45:44,420
It's we don't need to get into that right now.

905
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:49,300
We have a destiny, too, and it's to stop me six from doing what he's supposed to do.

906
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:51,940
What is he supposed to do?

907
00:45:54,740 --> 00:46:01,139
Well, he was given a task, which was to learn everything about this world before anyone else.

908
00:46:02,420 --> 00:46:05,460
Oh, but you said you're not from this world.

909
00:46:05,460 --> 00:46:08,900
No, we kind of found ourselves here.

910
00:46:09,619 --> 00:46:16,340
Me six was created, and that was the first thing that came out of the people's mouths.

911
00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:18,099
We were with they were trying to be funny.

912
00:46:19,220 --> 00:46:21,700
But if he learns all of the things that he could learn,

913
00:46:22,740 --> 00:46:25,940
he could cause serious damage before he learns everything else.

914
00:46:29,139 --> 00:46:30,740
I'm so confused.

915
00:46:30,740 --> 00:46:32,740
Where where are you from?

916
00:46:33,540 --> 00:46:39,940
Oh, we're from a place called not here.

917
00:46:42,180 --> 00:46:44,180
Is that near not a library here?

918
00:46:45,060 --> 00:46:46,420
Very close.

919
00:46:46,420 --> 00:46:53,460
Actually, the poor I mean, the the the the hallway is very near there.

920
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:58,500
OK, so what do you want to do?

921
00:46:58,500 --> 00:47:00,980
You want to take Mr. Meeseeks?

922
00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:07,940
The taller figure walks over and he's like, look,

923
00:47:10,340 --> 00:47:11,699
we just need to get the Meeseeks.

924
00:47:13,860 --> 00:47:16,500
And and then we'll be on our way.

925
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:20,500
And you are and I turn and look very intimidating.

926
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:23,059
Well, as as my friend here,

927
00:47:23,059 --> 00:47:25,539
Kat Silverson said, I'm Grandpa Big Dog.

928
00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:29,059
So, Kat, is it?

929
00:47:30,019 --> 00:47:33,460
Yeah, Kath, Kath Silverson.

930
00:47:36,900 --> 00:47:40,259
And Grandpa Big Dog, you say?

931
00:47:40,259 --> 00:47:41,380
Yep, Grandpa Big Dog.

932
00:47:41,380 --> 00:47:42,579
That's that's what they call me.

933
00:47:44,179 --> 00:47:48,900
OK, well, maybe you could take your hood down, too.

934
00:47:49,619 --> 00:47:50,500
All right.

935
00:47:50,500 --> 00:47:53,139
He takes his hood down and there's an older man

936
00:47:53,539 --> 00:47:58,980
and he's got very wild and crazy white hair,

937
00:47:59,619 --> 00:48:01,699
a bit of drool coming out of his mouth,

938
00:48:02,339 --> 00:48:04,579
takes a sip from his flask as he does.

939
00:48:04,579 --> 00:48:08,339
So he says, look, I can show you how we create the Meeseeks,

940
00:48:08,339 --> 00:48:10,179
but then we've got to be able to take the Meeseeks.

941
00:48:11,779 --> 00:48:13,539
We've got to we've got to be able to get rid of it.

942
00:48:14,420 --> 00:48:16,579
Otherwise, it could cause the end of your world.

943
00:48:17,699 --> 00:48:18,980
So you're going to make another one?

944
00:48:19,699 --> 00:48:21,940
Oh, yeah.

945
00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:23,780
Don't act exasperated with me.

946
00:48:23,780 --> 00:48:26,260
I think you're the one creating all of these problems.

947
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:28,179
You're not wrong.

948
00:48:28,179 --> 00:48:29,539
Yeah, you're not wrong.

949
00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:31,539
He kind of creates a shush.

950
00:48:32,179 --> 00:48:36,900
If it will help you, I will create a Meeseeks,

951
00:48:36,900 --> 00:48:39,860
give him a small task and he shall disappear.

952
00:48:41,300 --> 00:48:41,860
I see.

953
00:48:46,420 --> 00:48:46,820
OK.

954
00:48:47,780 --> 00:48:50,580
He pulls out a gray box with a giant red button

955
00:48:50,580 --> 00:48:51,780
and he says, here, push it.

956
00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:53,380
I'd rather not.

957
00:48:54,980 --> 00:48:55,860
All right.

958
00:48:55,860 --> 00:48:59,460
Well, I would have seen how much you were willing to play along.

959
00:48:59,460 --> 00:49:03,059
He holds it down to Kath and he says, just push it.

960
00:49:03,059 --> 00:49:06,180
And Kath pushes the button and out of nowhere,

961
00:49:06,180 --> 00:49:09,300
another Meeseeks and he says, hi, I'm Meeseeks.

962
00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:11,539
What can I do for you?

963
00:49:14,580 --> 00:49:16,180
So just give him a small task.

964
00:49:17,620 --> 00:49:20,900
Oh, could you pick this up?

965
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,260
And I pick up a pebble and throw it on the ground.

966
00:49:24,260 --> 00:49:25,860
Boy, can I.

967
00:49:25,860 --> 00:49:28,820
He reaches down, picks up the pebble and hands it back to you.

968
00:49:28,820 --> 00:49:29,460
Here you go.

969
00:49:30,340 --> 00:49:30,820
Great.

970
00:49:30,820 --> 00:49:31,620
Thanks.

971
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:34,580
He takes the pebble and he says, all right, bye now.

972
00:49:35,620 --> 00:49:36,180
And he's gone.

973
00:49:37,300 --> 00:49:37,780
I see.

974
00:49:38,820 --> 00:49:42,820
So you told this Meeseeks he needed to learn everything in the world?

975
00:49:43,539 --> 00:49:44,660
Me specifically, no.

976
00:49:44,660 --> 00:49:46,100
The people we were drinking with, yes.

977
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:47,720
Hmm.

978
00:49:49,780 --> 00:49:52,019
Well, that seems like it was a very bad idea.

979
00:49:53,220 --> 00:49:57,220
We cut back down to Sully and Moot.

980
00:49:57,220 --> 00:49:59,780
And you see Sully throwing books at Moot.

981
00:49:59,780 --> 00:50:00,100
Right.

982
00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:02,820
I was going to say, can I just be hucking books?

983
00:50:04,660 --> 00:50:05,860
Yeah, that's great.

984
00:50:05,860 --> 00:50:06,900
Look at you guys go.

985
00:50:06,900 --> 00:50:11,380
And you see him, you see Wise Meeseeks reading through books behind you

986
00:50:11,380 --> 00:50:12,500
as they're kind of coming in.

987
00:50:12,500 --> 00:50:13,940
He's scanning through them.

988
00:50:13,940 --> 00:50:17,700
Are the books hitting me at all, Russ?

989
00:50:17,700 --> 00:50:19,220
Or have I figured it out?

990
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:20,420
Is it like 50-50?

991
00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:24,820
Yeah.

992
00:50:24,820 --> 00:50:26,820
How do we want to determine if this works?

993
00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:29,860
For a first little while, I'm going to say they hit you.

994
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:30,099
OK.

995
00:50:31,220 --> 00:50:33,139
How hard do they hit him, Sully?

996
00:50:33,139 --> 00:50:35,619
I mean, he would just be lobbing them at me, I think.

997
00:50:35,619 --> 00:50:38,019
Not like overhand spiking or anything.

998
00:50:39,940 --> 00:50:43,220
Well, well, it's Sully.

999
00:50:43,220 --> 00:50:44,740
That's why I asked Sully and not Moot.

1000
00:50:44,740 --> 00:50:45,780
It's hard to say.

1001
00:50:45,780 --> 00:50:47,380
Should have been more specific.

1002
00:50:47,380 --> 00:50:50,020
I think at first, there were a couple lobs.

1003
00:50:50,740 --> 00:50:54,020
And I think that it was almost like a fun game of catch.

1004
00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:58,100
Like I, you know, underhand toss one, right?

1005
00:50:58,100 --> 00:51:02,260
Moot would catch it and be like, oh, not yet, not yet.

1006
00:51:02,260 --> 00:51:04,100
And then I'd start to pick up pace.

1007
00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:06,900
One after the other, after the other, after the other.

1008
00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:08,100
And he would lose track of them.

1009
00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:11,380
And then I think I was just starting like a dodgeball fight.

1010
00:51:12,019 --> 00:51:14,019
But you got caught up in it.

1011
00:51:14,019 --> 00:51:14,500
It was so exciting.

1012
00:51:14,500 --> 00:51:15,059
I did.

1013
00:51:15,059 --> 00:51:16,340
I got all swept up.

1014
00:51:17,380 --> 00:51:20,180
OK, so yeah, the first few, they make it past

1015
00:51:20,180 --> 00:51:21,860
and just hit you square in the chest.

1016
00:51:21,860 --> 00:51:24,660
And then they, you know, he begins going fast.

1017
00:51:24,660 --> 00:51:27,700
A couple start to work and they glance off of you.

1018
00:51:27,700 --> 00:51:28,900
Come on, you got to get angry.

1019
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,579
Yeah, you got to get angry at it.

1020
00:51:30,579 --> 00:51:31,140
Come on.

1021
00:51:31,140 --> 00:51:33,539
You got to do this under high pressure situations.

1022
00:51:33,539 --> 00:51:35,220
You can't be knowing when it's going to be coming.

1023
00:51:36,099 --> 00:51:38,180
And then they start just rapid firing at you.

1024
00:51:38,180 --> 00:51:40,500
And a few of them like hit you in the face and the arms.

1025
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:44,099
But as you get maybe angry, you tell me how you get

1026
00:51:44,099 --> 00:51:45,619
as they start actually hitting you.

1027
00:51:46,340 --> 00:51:47,940
Don't you wish you were a real wizard?

1028
00:51:50,739 --> 00:51:57,460
I get like an almost zen-like calmness that's going on.

1029
00:51:57,460 --> 00:52:01,539
The books aren't affecting me whatsoever anymore.

1030
00:52:02,820 --> 00:52:05,699
And I've achieved mage armor.

1031
00:52:05,699 --> 00:52:08,340
They begin bouncing off and flying off of him.

1032
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:12,100
And Mesix is like, yes, you did it, one who can't read.

1033
00:52:14,100 --> 00:52:15,460
Thanks, Vice Master Mesix.

1034
00:52:16,820 --> 00:52:18,019
This is boring now.

1035
00:52:18,019 --> 00:52:21,940
The books continue to filter in and then slowly begin to stop.

1036
00:52:21,940 --> 00:52:24,260
And as he's quickly scanning through them,

1037
00:52:24,260 --> 00:52:26,019
he reaches the last book and he says,

1038
00:52:27,460 --> 00:52:31,539
Well, I feel like that's all I need to know.

1039
00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:38,019
And he puts the book down and then stands there for a moment.

1040
00:52:38,019 --> 00:52:41,059
And nothing happens.

1041
00:52:42,420 --> 00:52:42,920
No.

1042
00:52:45,460 --> 00:52:48,099
Well, how about you two come with me

1043
00:52:48,099 --> 00:52:49,539
and we've got to go find more to learn.

1044
00:52:50,659 --> 00:52:51,380
More to learn?

1045
00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:53,699
Yeah, well, we haven't learned at all.

1046
00:52:53,699 --> 00:52:54,420
Look at all these books.

1047
00:52:54,420 --> 00:52:56,099
There's still apparently something to know.

1048
00:52:56,099 --> 00:52:58,179
Do we have to go back up and get more books?

1049
00:52:59,300 --> 00:53:00,420
Well, this should be all the books.

1050
00:53:00,420 --> 00:53:02,340
I told them all to come follow down behind us.

1051
00:53:03,219 --> 00:53:06,739
Well, wait, let's, well, okay, now hold on a second.

1052
00:53:06,740 --> 00:53:09,460
Are you going to like secure them in here

1053
00:53:09,460 --> 00:53:12,900
so that your angry wizards don't get them?

1054
00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:14,420
What about that book that you wrote?

1055
00:53:15,300 --> 00:53:16,420
Do you have a copy of that?

1056
00:53:17,220 --> 00:53:18,180
You wrote a book?

1057
00:53:18,180 --> 00:53:19,860
I did not write a book.

1058
00:53:19,860 --> 00:53:21,780
Well, he orated it, right?

1059
00:53:21,780 --> 00:53:22,280
Yes.

1060
00:53:23,060 --> 00:53:28,660
I gave a few ideas to someone else who was writing a book.

1061
00:53:28,660 --> 00:53:29,460
Really?

1062
00:53:29,460 --> 00:53:29,940
Yeah.

1063
00:53:29,940 --> 00:53:30,980
What was your book about?

1064
00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:33,540
Uh, Gross Jobs.

1065
00:53:33,539 --> 00:53:36,980
Interest me.

1066
00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:39,380
I just listed Gross Jobs.

1067
00:53:39,380 --> 00:53:42,340
Walk with me and tell me about all of your gross jobs.

1068
00:53:42,340 --> 00:53:45,860
Okay, so I already mentioned Banya Masebeta.

1069
00:53:45,860 --> 00:53:47,300
As your list continues on,

1070
00:53:47,300 --> 00:53:49,380
the three of you walk back out of the cavern

1071
00:53:49,380 --> 00:53:52,739
and he, like, with a swipe of his hand,

1072
00:53:52,739 --> 00:53:56,259
the dirt begins to mold back around the room,

1073
00:53:56,820 --> 00:53:59,380
so securing the books inside.

1074
00:53:59,380 --> 00:54:02,340
You begin to head back upstairs where we cut back to Glim,

1075
00:54:02,420 --> 00:54:05,460
who's speaking with Grandpa Big Dog and Kath Silverson.

1076
00:54:05,460 --> 00:54:07,539
He's like, look, we just need to get past you.

1077
00:54:07,539 --> 00:54:08,820
Do I hear that at all?

1078
00:54:08,820 --> 00:54:11,140
I do have the door slightly ajar behind me.

1079
00:54:11,140 --> 00:54:13,620
This, like, chamber closing in on itself?

1080
00:54:15,140 --> 00:54:17,220
They were down the tunnel.

1081
00:54:17,220 --> 00:54:17,860
Down the tunnel.

1082
00:54:17,860 --> 00:54:19,300
They're walking back up the tunnel now.

1083
00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:22,980
You've heard less movement of books.

1084
00:54:22,980 --> 00:54:26,900
Like, you could hear, like, the books dancing across the room,

1085
00:54:27,460 --> 00:54:28,740
but now less movement of that.

1086
00:54:28,740 --> 00:54:30,579
And he's like, look, we just need to get past you.

1087
00:54:31,460 --> 00:54:32,819
Yeah, I'm not going to let you pass me.

1088
00:54:32,819 --> 00:54:33,299
Hold on.

1089
00:54:33,299 --> 00:54:35,299
Oh, we can take care of the Mesecs.

1090
00:54:37,219 --> 00:54:38,659
And are the books all gone now?

1091
00:54:38,659 --> 00:54:40,019
The books are all gone.

1092
00:54:40,019 --> 00:54:40,519
OK.

1093
00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:44,500
Do I see or hear them yet?

1094
00:54:45,139 --> 00:54:50,819
You hear low muffled noise, the sound of Sully.

1095
00:54:50,819 --> 00:54:52,500
So they're, like, a ways away still.

1096
00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:53,059
Yeah.

1097
00:54:53,059 --> 00:54:54,819
OK, I'm going to open the door again.

1098
00:54:54,819 --> 00:54:56,579
What do you mean you're going to take care of the Mesecs?

1099
00:54:56,579 --> 00:54:58,259
What are you going to do to the Mesecs?

1100
00:54:59,220 --> 00:55:02,980
As you open back the door, you see that Grandpa Big Dog's hand

1101
00:55:02,980 --> 00:55:06,260
is on something, and he kind of sneaks it back into his robe.

1102
00:55:06,260 --> 00:55:09,380
And he's like, we're going to get rid of the Mesecs

1103
00:55:09,380 --> 00:55:11,140
before he learns absolutely everything

1104
00:55:11,140 --> 00:55:13,780
and can rule the world before he learns.

1105
00:55:13,780 --> 00:55:15,780
OK, we're going to stop the Mesecs

1106
00:55:15,780 --> 00:55:17,460
before he almost learns everything

1107
00:55:17,460 --> 00:55:19,780
and then can rule the world trying to know everything.

1108
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:22,980
But if he knows everything, won't he just, like,

1109
00:55:22,980 --> 00:55:25,460
disappear like that other one did when he picked up the rock?

1110
00:55:25,460 --> 00:55:28,260
Yeah, but it's what happens as he's trying to achieve that.

1111
00:55:31,300 --> 00:55:32,420
What do you got in your pocket there?

1112
00:55:34,659 --> 00:55:35,940
Mesecs box.

1113
00:55:41,059 --> 00:55:41,860
What does that mean?

1114
00:55:42,740 --> 00:55:43,619
So you're not going to kill him?

1115
00:55:43,619 --> 00:55:45,059
You're just going to put him in a box?

1116
00:55:45,059 --> 00:55:46,500
I mean, that's eventually where they go,

1117
00:55:46,500 --> 00:55:48,099
is they go back into the Mesecs box.

1118
00:55:52,099 --> 00:55:53,699
And it's not going to hurt him.

1119
00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:57,220
I mean, can a Mesecs feel?

1120
00:55:58,340 --> 00:56:00,420
I didn't even know a Mesecs was a thing.

1121
00:56:00,420 --> 00:56:01,539
This is very interesting.

1122
00:56:02,260 --> 00:56:03,059
Yes, yes.

1123
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,460
So Mesecs don't feel anything.

1124
00:56:06,019 --> 00:56:06,579
I forgot.

1125
00:56:06,579 --> 00:56:07,539
I should have led with that.

1126
00:56:08,659 --> 00:56:12,579
Mesecs, they're here one minute, they're gone the next.

1127
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:16,980
And that's all you need to know.

1128
00:56:16,980 --> 00:56:19,860
And we're just here to clean up the mess of somebody else.

1129
00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:21,699
OK, I'll be back in a second.

1130
00:56:21,699 --> 00:56:23,940
I'm going to go back inside and close the door.

1131
00:56:25,460 --> 00:56:26,420
And open the door again.

1132
00:56:26,420 --> 00:56:27,699
Can you guys keep it down out here?

1133
00:56:27,699 --> 00:56:29,380
I'm trying to work out a situation.

1134
00:56:29,380 --> 00:56:30,900
Maybe like stay a bit hidden or something.

1135
00:56:31,940 --> 00:56:32,420
What?

1136
00:56:34,740 --> 00:56:35,220
OK.

1137
00:56:38,179 --> 00:56:39,139
Master Mesecs?

1138
00:56:40,900 --> 00:56:43,139
So you have to put your finger where?

1139
00:56:44,260 --> 00:56:45,300
Oh, yeah.

1140
00:56:45,300 --> 00:56:48,099
So like right up there and push the hemorrhoids.

1141
00:56:48,980 --> 00:56:49,380
Oh, hey.

1142
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:50,659
Hi.

1143
00:56:51,619 --> 00:56:52,019
Yeah.

1144
00:56:52,019 --> 00:56:54,019
Looks like you got all your books moved.

1145
00:56:54,579 --> 00:56:54,980
I did.

1146
00:56:54,980 --> 00:56:58,340
I was just learning some very interesting things from your friend here.

1147
00:56:58,340 --> 00:56:59,460
I bet you were.

1148
00:56:59,460 --> 00:57:02,019
Sully does know all the most interesting things.

1149
00:57:02,579 --> 00:57:05,699
I mean, he told me 99 jobs out of 100 job book.

1150
00:57:05,699 --> 00:57:06,820
What was the last job?

1151
00:57:08,980 --> 00:57:10,420
Oh, a bitch ain't one.

1152
00:57:12,019 --> 00:57:12,340
Oh.

1153
00:57:12,340 --> 00:57:30,820
Oh, you see him kind of stop and puzzled as he kind of you see his eyes roll back

1154
00:57:30,820 --> 00:57:34,740
into his head as his hands move up.

1155
00:57:34,740 --> 00:57:37,539
And it's almost like he's trying to count, but he has mitten hands.

1156
00:57:37,539 --> 00:57:41,460
So it's like he's counting one.

1157
00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:46,500
Just one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, zero, one, one.

1158
00:57:46,500 --> 00:57:52,099
And then he pops out of existence and his robes drop to the ground.

1159
00:57:52,980 --> 00:57:55,059
Oh, God, I broke Mr. Mesecs.

1160
00:57:55,699 --> 00:57:56,659
Sully, what did you do?

1161
00:57:57,300 --> 00:58:00,099
Well, guys, I think.

1162
00:58:01,380 --> 00:58:02,260
Sully, I think.

1163
00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:05,860
I think you saved the day.

1164
00:58:07,619 --> 00:58:07,860
What?

1165
00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:09,139
No, that doesn't sound like me.

1166
00:58:09,139 --> 00:58:10,500
From the list of jobs?

1167
00:58:12,099 --> 00:58:16,500
I just finished telling him about how to put hemorrhoids back into a person.

1168
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:20,659
I'm not entirely sure that that is anywhere on par with saving a day.

1169
00:58:22,019 --> 00:58:22,659
Well.

1170
00:58:22,659 --> 00:58:25,780
Unless you're that person who's getting those hemorrhoids pushed back in,

1171
00:58:25,780 --> 00:58:26,579
because let me tell you.

1172
00:58:27,460 --> 00:58:28,820
I'll explain everything, but.

1173
00:58:29,860 --> 00:58:30,740
And I opened the door.

1174
00:58:32,019 --> 00:58:32,740
Did we come in yet?

1175
00:58:32,740 --> 00:58:33,699
Are the guys still there?

1176
00:58:33,699 --> 00:58:34,980
Yeah, oh yeah, we're still here.

1177
00:58:35,780 --> 00:58:36,740
Well, great news.

1178
00:58:37,460 --> 00:58:38,260
Great news.

1179
00:58:38,260 --> 00:58:38,760
Good.

1180
00:58:39,780 --> 00:58:40,980
He disappeared.

1181
00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:42,260
Yeah, I destroyed the blue guy.

1182
00:58:44,260 --> 00:58:48,740
Are you sure he disappeared or didn't learn to teleport and is now just somewhere else?

1183
00:58:49,619 --> 00:58:51,380
Well, how could I possibly know that?

1184
00:58:52,260 --> 00:58:53,460
Can I come in?

1185
00:58:53,460 --> 00:58:55,860
Well, his robes fell to the floor.

1186
00:58:55,860 --> 00:58:58,900
Wouldn't a teleporting person take their clothes with them?

1187
00:59:00,820 --> 00:59:06,579
Look, sometimes with teleportation or time travel or anything like that,

1188
00:59:06,579 --> 00:59:08,340
sometimes your clothes can't go with you.

1189
00:59:08,340 --> 00:59:12,500
But if you let me come in, I can do a quick test and then we'll be done.

1190
00:59:13,220 --> 00:59:16,180
Okay, well, grandpa big dog.

1191
00:59:16,180 --> 00:59:17,059
That's me.

1192
00:59:17,059 --> 00:59:17,940
Grandpa big dog.

1193
00:59:17,940 --> 00:59:19,460
Bad ass name, my man.

1194
00:59:19,460 --> 00:59:20,340
Bad ass name.

1195
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:21,380
Hey, don't make-

1196
00:59:21,380 --> 00:59:23,700
Are you going to make me have to kill you?

1197
00:59:24,579 --> 00:59:26,260
If I let you in here, am I going to have to kill you?

1198
00:59:26,260 --> 00:59:27,460
Because I'd really rather not.

1199
00:59:27,460 --> 00:59:28,500
Look, you can't kill me.

1200
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:31,140
You might be able to kill Kat Silverson over here,

1201
00:59:31,140 --> 00:59:32,260
but you're not going to be able to kill me.

1202
00:59:33,700 --> 00:59:37,460
I mean, I like your confidence, but.

1203
00:59:39,059 --> 00:59:40,820
Okay, come on in.

1204
00:59:40,820 --> 00:59:45,140
He steps in and like pushes past you and like stumbles up the stairs.

1205
00:59:45,860 --> 00:59:50,180
And the three of you see him pull a device out of his pocket.

1206
00:59:50,180 --> 00:59:55,300
It's got like a sign reading that goes across of it.

1207
00:59:55,300 --> 00:59:57,300
And it's got lights up on the top.

1208
00:59:57,300 --> 00:59:58,019
And he's looking at it.

1209
00:59:58,019 --> 01:00:00,019
He's like, yeah, okay, Seth,

1210
01:00:00,740 --> 01:00:02,100
Kath, it's time to go.

1211
01:00:02,100 --> 01:00:02,900
Music's gone.

1212
01:00:04,579 --> 01:00:05,860
All right, grandpa big dog.

1213
01:00:05,860 --> 01:00:07,700
Do we got to clean up anything here?

1214
01:00:07,700 --> 01:00:10,340
No, these people won't understand what just happened.

1215
01:00:11,540 --> 01:00:12,500
Where did he go?

1216
01:00:13,460 --> 01:00:16,900
Uh, back home.

1217
01:00:17,860 --> 01:00:18,360
Back home.

1218
01:00:20,740 --> 01:00:22,580
Are you guys going to go back home now?

1219
01:00:23,300 --> 01:00:23,940
Yep.

1220
01:00:23,940 --> 01:00:30,340
And you see him pull what looks like a small crossbow out of his hand,

1221
01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:32,900
only it's like a very shiny steel.

1222
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:37,060
And he points it at the ground kind of near you

1223
01:00:37,059 --> 01:00:38,019
and fires it.

1224
01:00:38,019 --> 01:00:43,219
And then this green wash of energy comes out over the floor

1225
01:00:43,219 --> 01:00:46,019
and he pushes Kath in and says, all right, time to go.

1226
01:00:46,820 --> 01:00:49,619
And Kath goes, ah, and he jumps in behind him

1227
01:00:49,619 --> 01:00:52,420
and the green wash of energy sucks up.

1228
01:00:53,219 --> 01:00:56,980
And grandpa big dog and Kath Silverson are gone now.

1229
01:01:01,940 --> 01:01:03,619
What the fuck just happened?

1230
01:01:03,619 --> 01:01:08,339
So, I don't even know if I can explain.

1231
01:01:11,059 --> 01:01:12,259
They created him.

1232
01:01:12,259 --> 01:01:14,099
He was created to complete a task.

1233
01:01:14,099 --> 01:01:15,859
They made a different one for me.

1234
01:01:15,859 --> 01:01:17,940
He did a task and then he pooped, disappeared.

1235
01:01:17,940 --> 01:01:21,380
And then, but they told this one, why is master music?

1236
01:01:21,380 --> 01:01:23,139
He had to learn everything in this whole world.

1237
01:01:23,139 --> 01:01:24,500
That's why he wanted all the books.

1238
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:26,579
And he needed to get all of the knowledge in the world

1239
01:01:26,579 --> 01:01:29,219
before he had completed his task and he could disappear.

1240
01:01:29,219 --> 01:01:30,579
So, Sully,

1241
01:01:30,579 --> 01:01:33,779
your incredibly important hemorrhoid knowledge

1242
01:01:33,779 --> 01:01:36,819
was the last thing in the world he hadn't learned.

1243
01:01:38,099 --> 01:01:39,619
That's amazing, Sully.

1244
01:01:39,619 --> 01:01:43,539
So, I think your key string saved the day.

1245
01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:47,059
It does more times than you can imagine.

1246
01:02:00,659 --> 01:02:13,860
The intro music long road ahead is by Kavin MacLeod

1247
01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:16,179
of incompetech.filmmusic.io.

1248
01:02:16,179 --> 01:02:19,539
The song Rick and Morty Remix is by Leslie Y

1249
01:02:19,539 --> 01:02:24,980
at soundcloud.com slash L-E-S-L-I-E-W-A-I.

1250
01:02:24,980 --> 01:02:27,460
All other music, sound effects, and ambience

1251
01:02:27,460 --> 01:02:30,420
can be found at epidemicsound.com.

1252
01:02:30,420 --> 01:02:33,940
A huge thank you to our supporting producers Christian Brown,

1253
01:02:33,940 --> 01:02:37,300
Creighton's Raven, Devin Michaels, Gabriel Lynch,

1254
01:02:37,300 --> 01:02:40,740
Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon, and Cat Waterflame.

1255
01:02:40,740 --> 01:02:44,260
To become a patron, visit Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast

1256
01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:46,019
where you get exclusive content,

1257
01:02:46,019 --> 01:02:48,579
including an entire exclusive campaign,

1258
01:02:48,579 --> 01:02:52,900
Dumgeon's downtime episodes, early access to our new show Facing Fate,

1259
01:02:52,900 --> 01:02:57,380
as well as a whole slew of other amazing bonus exclusive content.

1260
01:02:57,380 --> 01:03:01,380
Visit Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast to check it out today.

1261
01:03:02,019 --> 01:03:03,140
Today's patron.

1262
01:03:03,860 --> 01:03:04,900
I didn't write it down.

1263
01:03:06,340 --> 01:03:07,940
Thank you, I didn't write it down.

1264
01:03:12,340 --> 01:03:17,940
We find Moot, Glim, and Sully standing out in the street in front of a house.

1265
01:03:19,619 --> 01:03:21,140
Did you just kill someone, Carla?

1266
01:03:21,140 --> 01:03:21,940
What happened?

1267
01:03:21,940 --> 01:03:22,579
Rach, is that?

1268
01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,340
I'm sorry.

1269
01:03:24,340 --> 01:03:26,579
I had my phone and things kept making noise

1270
01:03:26,579 --> 01:03:29,299
and it wasn't my phone but it was making me paranoid it was my phone.

1271
01:03:29,299 --> 01:03:34,259
So I tossed it gently onto my chair that is outside of my booth

1272
01:03:34,259 --> 01:03:37,699
and it landed and then bounced not gently onto the floor.

1273
01:03:38,340 --> 01:03:39,299
So that was the face.

1274
01:03:39,299 --> 01:03:40,340
I'm very sorry, Rach.

1275
01:03:40,340 --> 01:03:43,219
We've made it three seconds into the episode.

1276
01:03:43,219 --> 01:03:43,619
It's okay.

1277
01:03:43,619 --> 01:03:45,460
I messed it up first by not having the patrons.

1278
01:03:45,460 --> 01:03:45,860
It's fine.

1279
01:03:45,860 --> 01:03:46,420
Okay.

1280
01:03:46,420 --> 01:03:48,900
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.